So I was minding my own business when a very strange woman came beside my and started rubbing her,,

Chest against me.
I said what's up babe? Nowt much she said my names Theresa May.
O'h yes I said "Nice to meet you and my name is Pinnocio don't you know? "
Dear Pinnocio she said if only you were A Tory voter we could rule the world.
I said please step aside from that oak tree as I need a pee.
She said " You could use my leg to do that"
My answer was " I could pee up a million or more Trees so don't insult me darling" I don't need to pee on dead wood LMAO!