I noticed a family of 17 pcking to go on holiday and they were Irish so.

They were packing all their luggage into their Mini so I said "where are you all off to Mick?
We are all going home for a week to my home town oes in big river o a bit off Fishing for a few days " I don't know anything about fishing so I said "have you got room in your mini for one more " He said I'm sure we can make room for one more lad if Arlene shifts her fat bum over for the journey so off we went and next morning we all went off to river and had a fine times.
It was so hot I took my shoes off and just was watching them all fishing and catching nothing so too, my shoes and socks of put them in big river and started wriggling my toes just to cool down a bit when suddenly grabbed my big toe and tried to drag me into said big river so I screamed and screamed and then...

You'll have to wonder what happened next as I havn't made it up yet